Liverpool 0 – 37 Arsenal: Fantasy Football
258 comments December 20th, 2006
Well, I never. After the disappointing draw at home to Portsmouth, every Arsenal fan was looking excitedly at this fixture, knowing that only a convincing win would suffice. But nobody was expecting the events of last night.
37-0. An outrageous performance from a brilliant young Arsenal side. When you’ve got a scoreline like that, you know that every player was outstanding, but one stood head and shoulders above the rest. This man was a Cameroonian Colossus, a marauding midfielder who claimed six goals so spectacular that they’d make Matthew Taylor jealous. That man, of course, was Alex “Get him his own” Song.
It was good to see Julio Baptista on the scoresheet (in the 17th, 29th, 60th, 65th, 71st, and 93rd minute), and his confidence will no doubt be lifted by the win. Lauren’s return was also a heartwarming moment, as were the five penalties he rolled down the middle of the goal. The man himself said:
“I was delighted with the goals. By this point I felt sorry for Liverpool, so I just did that thing where I roll it down the middle again and again. But every time I did, that Reina would throw himself to the side. The slower I trickled the ball, the further he’d dive. What a muppet.”
After the game, Arsene said:
“Tonight we were a little sharper in the final third, and once again the team showed that they are special, not in the Jose Reyes sense, but footballistically.”
Rafael Benitez, meanwhile, gave a clue as to who might leave Arsenal in the January transfer window. Having missed out on Diaby, Denilson, and Walcott, the Spaniard hinted he may make a £30m double swoop for Alex Song and Jeremie Aliadiere, with Steven Gerrard coming the other way. With Arsenal unable to convince the ambitious pair to stay, the only thing holding up the move is Jeremie’s recovery from the injury he picked up last night.
ps. In truth, the match was postponed. I haven’t the foggiest when they intend to replay it.
pps. I’m sorry for the various levels of awfulness in this entry. I blame my disappointment at the postponement.