Archive for September, 2004

Cole prods Arsenal back to the top of the table…

4 comments September 25th, 2004

A flick with the outside of Ashley Cole’s left boot was enough for Arsenal to beat Manchester City 1-0, and leapfrog Chelsea at the top of the Barclaycard Premiership.

I just watched the full 90 minutes on Sky’s excellent Football First service, and it was a decent enough performance in a fast, furious, cup-tie-like match.

Jens Lehmann’s sure hands stood out, and Sol Campbell looked reassurringly solid upon his return after three months out injured.

Robin van Persie was an 88th minute substitute, making his long-awaited debut for the club. I’d imagine we might see him again on Wednesday.

You won’t, however, see me for a little while.

Well, you might.

But I’m off to uni tomorrow and I’m not sure when the next update will be. Probably not tomorrow. Or the day after.

Still, I’ll be back.


City Slickers no match for Arsenal’s Greased Lightning

8 comments September 24th, 2004

Just one week ago, Kevin Keegan looked set to become the next victim of the ever-turbulent managerial merry-go-round.

However, following a Nicolas Anelka-inspired victory over Crystal Palace, and the midweek 7-1 drubbing of Barnsley, Keegan now fancies his chances against Arsenal.

â??We will go into the game thinking we have a chance because we have players who can hurt them.â?

Fair does Kevin, butâ?¦ well, you say it best yourself:

â??In fairness, they have 11 who can hurt us.â?

Thatâ??s the difference between a decent mid-table side, and one of Europeâ??s best.

Manchester City are doubtless blessed with some extremely talented players. Anelka has matured since his Arsenal days into a fine all-round forward; David James is as good a shot-stopper as any in the division; and in Shaun Wright-Phillips (pictured) they have one of the most electrifying players in all of the Premiership.

Man Cityâ??s Shaun Wright-Phillips will test Ashley Cole.

However, a glance at Arsenalâ??s side tomorrow will show the immense disparity between the two sides.

â??City Slickersâ? they may be, but every cog in the Arsenal engine is perfectly oiled and exquisitely proficient.

I often hear players such as Jens Lehmann described as â??The Weak Linkâ?. It is impossible to have a truly â??weak linkâ? in a side that did not lose last season (especially, I might add, in a position as fundamental as that of goalkeeper).

Every man in this Arsenal side â?? in fact, in the first 16 â?? is an integral part of an elite footballing machine. From 17 year old Cesc Fabregas to 35 year old Dennis Bergkamp, through the diminutive Ashley Cole to the towering Patrick Vieira, each player is blessed with speed, strength, invention, and bags of talent.

In a league where the gap between the top sides and the rest is ever-increasing, Arsenal are breaking yet further away.

Tomorrowâ??s result is, in my humble opinion, in little doubt.

Kevin Keegan might just be one of Britain’s great motivational managers. He certainly talks a great game. His sides attack with pace and panache, and will cause anybody problems on their day.

In fact, there can be no denying that Manchester City are a decent side.

But theyâ??re no Arsenal.

Arsene Wenger’s red and white tsunami will sweep City away just as it has countless other opposition.

For all their guts and guile, Keegan’s side will fall short of Arsenal simply because they’re not as good.

There’s no disgrace in that.

Ask every Inter Milan fan who witnessed their team being dismantled on their own pitch last year. Ask the Liverpool fans who saw their side lead 2-1 at Highbury, only for Thierry Henry to turn the game on it’s head with a performance of Herculean proportions. Ask every single Portsmouth supporter who could do nothing but sit back and applaud as our boys delivered a five star performance to ensure our progression in the FA Cup.

For the rest of us, there’s plenty to learn from the Pompey fans’ example.

Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

Arsenal are moving through the gears of English football, and we’re sitting comfortably in the passenger seat.

EXCLUSIVE: George Graham in “fig-buying nonsense”.

4 comments September 23rd, 2004

That’s right. You heard it here first.

I saw him this morning, with mine own eyes, stooping over a fruit stall in Hampstead to purchase some figgy treats.

Not only that, but I hear this fruit-based funfair is often frequented by several other big-name Arsenal players.


Almost certainly yes.

However, should we ever buy Figo, then this “Fig”-orientated pullava could come in handy for some truly awful puns.

I warned you.

You may think that I have, in one fell swoop, delivered some of the most exciting Arsenal news available.

But no.

There’s more.

This Sunday, we play Manchester City. But because of the Third Round Draw for the Carling Cup, we’ll have to do it again, sometime soon.

And Edu hopes that when we play Manchester City next season, he’ll still be here. Probably on the bench with Fabregas whilst everybody moans about Gilberto.

One player who may have made the line-up by Man City 2005 is Philippe Senderos.

Philippe Senderos and his fabled “Victorious Caveman” impression.

However, for now, Arsene reckons that “Senderos needs to play for three months without thinking about anything else“. Such as girls.

We’ve had a new top banner flown in straight from Barcelona. Personally, I think it’s bloody marvellous.

Yesterday was a lively day on the “Comments” front: I abused some readers, they abused me, we discussed dead pets – it was a laugh.

Join us.

When there’s nothing to write about, I talk utter bollocks. Witness.

13 comments September 22nd, 2004

To be fair, the fact that Arsene Wenger might sign a new contract next month is fairly news-worthy. But there’s not much legs in that story. That was it, there.


I’m going to university on Sunday. That might be fun.


Sometimes, I wonder if Pringles were sold in normal packets, would they be a success. Y’know, without the big tubey things.

I doubt it. The tube is kinda the gimmick upon which the whole of the Pringles’ success has been based.


This is crap.

I’m really tired.

What’s incredible, though, is that I can write whatever I want, and some people will still end up reading it.

My thoughts, insignificant though they are, are broadcast to the world.

That’s the great thing about the internet. It enables a self-obsessed wanker like me to have my say. But not just me. People who do know what they’re talking about, too.

I’m guessing you’re here because you’re either a) an Arsenal fan b) related to me or c) lost.

Poor you.

I don’t know where this is going. I can’t think straight at all. It’s absolutely criminal that I can even nearly contemplate publishing this.

Ok, I promise that tomorrow will have a very nice journalisticallisty article, all polished, and maybe even with pictures. Deal?


Persie-verance Pays Off

4 comments September 21st, 2004

I for one have never doubted Robin van Persie.

One need only flick back to my original posts during pre-season. I came away from the friendly with Barnet raving about a player with vision, flair, and a thunderous shot.

Last night, back at Underhill, the Dutch-U21 Skipper made his debut for our now-managerless Reserve team, and netted a superb brace.

With Arsene Wenger present to watch the returning Sol Campbell, van Persie will have given him plenty think about ahead of Sunday’s game with ailing Manchester City.

In other news, our hideously ugly yet surprisingly talented goalkeeper Mark Howard has signed professional terms with the club.

And yes, I spent an entire article yesterday building up Liverpool. And yes, they lost. So really I should spend today hyping up Kevin Keegan’s side in a strange attempt to work some reverse psychology ahead of the weekend.

I won’t though.

I will instead direct you to this article, just because I like it.


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