Gunnerblog

Player Feature: Gael Quichy

4 comments September 11th, 2004

Welcome to a new feature intended to further educate some of our less-knowledgable fans (for example, the rubbish foreign ones), about our multi-talented squad.

Today’s featured player: Gael Quichy.

Stan Lazaridis applauds excitedly as Gael Quichy heads clear.

Gael was born 1985 in the small Parisian suburb, Spain. From an early age he learnt the power and importance of discipline from his father, who was a Swan. Like many half swan-half man children, Gael discovered it was difficult to fit in with his peers at school. He found himself the subject of bullying, and later blamed this period for his fear of throw-ins. In his recent autobiography, “Gael Force” (Penguin Books), Gael described it as a difficult time:

“Je m’appelle Gael Quichy. J’ai douze ans.”

In a quest for popularity, Gael made a pact one rainy night that he would become the finest beach volleyball player in France. Tragically, that very night, strong winds dislodged the net, forcing the children at his school to play football during their games session. It was by this twist of fate that Gael Quichy first kicked a football, and such was his obvious prominence and pace (which he attributes to his superstition that he will only play football when shooting downhill) that superstardom clearly beckoned. The rest, as they say, is false.

Quichy facts:

• Gael is 181 cm tall, making him the tallest quiche in the world, according the Guinness Book of Records.
• Superstitious Gael will not eat Poptarts for breakfast, claiming that they â??are more like desert than breakfastâ?.
• Gael can run the 100 metres. Both ways.
• Gael’s father promised that he would get home from work early to watch Gael blow out the candles on his 9th birthday cake, however, he never made it home, and Gael has not spoken to his father since.
  
  

Quichy chants:

(To the tune of “Sound of The Underground” by Girls Aloud)
Have you?
Have you?
Have you got any eggs?
Have you got any eggs for my Quichy?
Have you got any eggs?

(To the tune of “Fun House”)
Quichy
Heâ??s a whole lot of fun
Ooh heâ??s on a run
Someones got a gun
(you should probably tell the stewards
before somebody gets skewered)

(To the tune of “Liverpool, Liverpool”)
Clichy, Clichy

———

See, and I even managed to go the whole article without even mentioning that it’s September 11th today.

Shit.