Abdul Bihi to start. Also, Wilshere to start.
41 comments November 1st, 2008
Facebook is a horrible, life-sucking, soul-devouring thing. However, for my sins, I am on it. And on it, I have made cursory efforts to befriend any Arsenal players I come across. One such player is sixteen-year old sensation, Jack Wilshere.
Now, as I’m sure many of you know, Facebook has a function called ‘Status’, whereby one can update their friends as to their current state of being. Examples of Status updates might include:
“Gilbertosilver is writing a blog.”
“Gilbertosilver is having a poo.”
“Gilbertosilver is writing a blog whilst having a poo.”
“Gilbertosilver has ruined his laptop.”
Most of Jack’s statuses have demonstrated his genuine passion for Arsenal football club, and have included jibes at “Sperz” as well as expressions of delight when he has made the odd first-team appearance.
However, this morning, at 1.29am, Jack’s status was changed to:
“Jack is Starting today.. so pleasedddd =] xxx.”
Well I never. In the minutes that followed, his status changed to include the following phrase:
“Jack is … startin 2day.. cant wait.. watch out for me.. im comin !”
Evidently in his excitement, Jack had forgotten briefly about the existence of the letter ‘g’, but nonetheless: what a revelation! Journalists across the world can save hours that would otherwise be spent sourcing stories: all major scoops can now be derived from Facebook statuses. I’m sure had I been friends with other celebrities, their status would’ve given me the stories before any of the major news outlets:
“Russell Brand is resigning”
“William Gallas is not really injured”
“Oliver Cromwell is dead”
But then, at 1.55am, my delight was disturbed by Jack’s latest status update, which read simply:
“Jack Almunia – Sagna – Toure – Silvestre – Clichy – Walcott – Fabregas – Song – Bihi – Adebayor – van Persie.”
Who was this mysterious ‘Bihi’? A little detective work uncovered our man. One of Jack’s earlier status read:
“Jack says: I Am Abdul Bihi, Yes, I’m Stupid For Hacking Jack, But Shit Happens!”
So what do we know about Bihi. So far we know he is both “stupid” and a hacker. But is he a good left-winger? That remains to be seen…
Big questions need to be answered:
- Was the news about Jack starting simply a rumour started by a hacker, such as the aforementioned Bihi?
- Would Jack even know the team before match-day?
- Would Arsene throw a sixteen year old into the highly physical environment of the Brittannia Stadium?
- Is Oliver Cromwell on Facebook?
The answers to these questions (except perhaps the Cromwell one) will come to light later today.
Come on you Reds.
