Archive for May 31st, 2009

Footballers are out of control

Add comment May 31st, 2009

I’m not a doctor, but this does sound pretty mental: in order to prevent Robin’s regular muscle injuries, the club is forcing him to have his wisdom teeth removed.  The same operation was performed on Tomas Rosicky, with dubious results.  Apparently Arsene himself is a fierce proponent of the treatment, which only leads me to believe that our manager moonlights as a Tooth Fairy-figure, collecting the teeth of famous footballers then selling them for profit on ebay.

The rest of today’s news centres on Theo Walcott.  In a stunning and revelatory interview with the News of the World, Theo has followed up the Roman Bednar drugs scandal with a disturbing admission of his own:

“And once – and I’ve never admitted this to anyone before – when I was at Southampton I was going on the train to Reading with another player, Jake Thompson. We were 16 at the time but we said we were 15 to get kids’ tickets. We thought we were being clever by buying the tickets on one side of the station and then crossing to the other side of station to get the train. But we got caught and I was scared that we’d be prosecuted for fraud or something and all to wriggle out of paying an extra £2.50.”

Jake Thompson, when contacted by Gunnerblog staff this morning, hung up with a curt “No comment”.

It’s really frightening when you think you know a guy like Theo and then you find out the true extent of what he’s capable of.  Doubtless we’ll be hearing a lot more about this in the days and weeks to come.

As far as on-pitch antics go, Theo is looking forward to representing both the senior side and the U-21s, and Fabio Capello is confident that the player won’t ‘burn-out’:

“He is young.  Stuart Pearce spoke with the players and the player was happy to play with the U21s.

I also understand Arsene because he said he needed to take a holiday. But he did not play during the winter. His holiday was in the winter.”

The weather is absolutely cracking today but it seems to have brought with it a sufficient amount of pollen to induce a sneezing attack that is threatening to cripple me.

Though if it does, I could always just have my wisdom teeth removed.

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