I hate you, Marlon Harewood
35 comments October 2nd, 2007
There are lots of reasons to hate Marlon Harewood. Take, for example, his complete inability to play football to a reasonable standard. Consider, if you will, his weird bony head that makes him resemble a Pachycephalosaurus. There are other factors: his similarity to Earl from Dinosaurs; his irritating decision to move to just another club which plays in claret and blue and has Nigel Reo-Coker in its ranks; and the fact he scored a last-minute winner against us last season.
Last night, however, my hatred rose to new levels. Imagine the scene. Tottenham, having taken an early lead against Aston Villa, are now 4-2 down. Pascal Chimbonda has just side-footed a consolation goal, but for all intents and purposes, Spurs are beaten. It’s their 125th anniversary and it couldn’t’ve been more disastrous if I’d dreamt it up as some kind of imaginative curse. And then: Harewood.
BBC Sport described the incident as follows:
The England striker hit the post before Chimbonda netted from rebound to give his side hope, then Robbie Keane brought the score back to 4-3 from the spot after Marlon Harewood clumsily fouled substitute Darren Bent.
“Clumsily”? My brother chopped off part of my finger in a less clumsy incident. Harewood made Mr Bean look like Darcy Bussel. Completely avoiding the ball, he tried to kick off Darren Bent’s head. Whilst normally this is something I’d applaud, attempting to do so in the penalty box about five yards from the referee when you’re protecting a lead? Insanity.
And of course, we all know what happened in the end. But if Tottenham achieve anything at all this season, be sure you know who’s to blame. If I had my way, Harewood would be as extinct as his lookalike pals.
Anyway, it still made for quite amusing viewing. Watching Spurs celebrate at the end of a game in which they conceded four goals at home reminded me of their ecstasy when they drew with us in the game when we won the title at their ground. Classic. Congratulations to Spurs on their long-awaited break into ‘The Top Eighteen’.
Meanwhile, we have more important things to worry about: The Champions League. Tonight we go away to managerless Steaua Bucharest with a spate of new injuries. Aleksandr Hleb, Mathieu Flamini, Emmanuel Adebayor and Abou Diaby all face fitness tests, whilst Gallas, Eduardo, Song, Rosicky and Lehmann are all still out.
That makes it pretty hard to predict a team, but the back four and goalie should be the same as Saturday. Gilberto and Eboue will be on standby to come into the midfield, and if Adebayor fails to make it then Theo Walcott or more likely Nicklas Bendtner will be handed an opportunity on the European stage.
Three points tonight would be a big step towards qualification. Whatever side we put out, we’re capable of the result we need. Come on Arsenal.
