September 14th, 2004 01:03pm
gilbertosilver
Tonight we play PSV Eindhoven, in what should really be a relatively comfortable start to our Champions League campaign.
“Relatively”.
Because you see, if anybody can screw this up, then it’s us.
Actually, I lie.
There is one man whose capabilities for disaster far exceed our own. Whose capacity to single-handedly destroy a game of flowing football is matched only by Emile Heskey ever being allowed to “play“.
A man whose star rose like a phoenix from the proverbial flames of Wales’ disappointing draw with Northern Ireland.
A man on a mission to prevent the act of celebration.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:
Domenica Messina.
Look at him – making decisions, and… stuff.
Arsene is suitably terrified.
However, we should probably overcome PSV, even if by the end it’s down to about 5-a-side. That might even be more fun.
I’ll be there, and I’m bloody excited about it too… Might buy the home shirt whilst I’m there. I’m torn between Bergkamp, Reyes, and Fabregas. Part of me thinks if it’s Bergkamp’s last year, I really ought to get him on the shirt. However, another part of me knows that Dirty Den is an awful liar who never actually retires. Hm hm hm. We’ll see.
Up the arse.
September 13th, 2004 11:01am
gilbertosilver
Again, I lied.
Sorry, I’m compulsive at the moment.
And it’s so tempting when there really is no news around.
Arsene and PV4 have said some things about how they want to win in Europe. Well there’s a surprise. I’d link you to it, but it really is that uninteresting.
This, on the other hand, is pretty fascinating.
Arsenal beat Fulham 3-0 on Saturday, with some help from the referee.
I didn’t see the game in full, so it’s very difficult for me to report on it properly, but from what I hear Pascal Cygan had a very solid game, as did Gilberto Silva. The reason I point this out is because these two are hardly fan favourites, and occasionally recieve stick from the stands. If this goes anyway towards improving peoples opinions of these two, then it’s worthwhile.
It goes with saying that Jose Reyes was superb, changing the game after his introduction on the hour.
Let’s hope he starts tomorrow.
I’ll be there.
Whooo etc.
September 11th, 2004 01:32am
gilbertosilver
Welcome to a new feature intended to further educate some of our less-knowledgable fans (for example, the rubbish foreign ones), about our multi-talented squad.
Today’s featured player: Gael Quichy.
Stan Lazaridis applauds excitedly as Gael Quichy heads clear. 
Gael was born 1985 in the small Parisian suburb, Spain. From an early age he learnt the power and importance of discipline from his father, who was a Swan. Like many half swan-half man children, Gael discovered it was difficult to fit in with his peers at school. He found himself the subject of bullying, and later blamed this period for his fear of throw-ins. In his recent autobiography, “Gael Force” (Penguin Books), Gael described it as a difficult time:
“Je m’appelle Gael Quichy. J’ai douze ans.”
In a quest for popularity, Gael made a pact one rainy night that he would become the finest beach volleyball player in France. Tragically, that very night, strong winds dislodged the net, forcing the children at his school to play football during their games session. It was by this twist of fate that Gael Quichy first kicked a football, and such was his obvious prominence and pace (which he attributes to his superstition that he will only play football when shooting downhill) that superstardom clearly beckoned. The rest, as they say, is false.
Quichy facts:
- Gael is 181 cm tall, making him the tallest quiche in the world, according the Guinness Book of Records.
- Superstitious Gael will not eat Poptarts for breakfast, claiming that they â??are more like desert than breakfastâ?Â.
- Gael can run the 100 metres. Both ways.
- Gael’s father promised that he would get home from work early to watch Gael blow out the candles on his 9th birthday cake, however, he never made it home, and Gael has not spoken to his father since.
Quichy chants:
(To the tune of “Sound of The Underground” by Girls Aloud)
Have you?
Have you?
Have you got any eggs?
Have you got any eggs for my Quichy?
Have you got any eggs?
(To the tune of “Fun House”)
Quichy
Heâ??s a whole lot of fun
Ooh heâ??s on a run
Someones got a gun
(you should probably tell the stewards
before somebody gets skewered)
(To the tune of “Liverpool, Liverpool”)
Clichy, Clichy
———
See, and I even managed to go the whole article without even mentioning that it’s September 11th today.
Shit.
September 10th, 2004 08:23pm
gilbertosilver
Sorry, I lied.
Fulham tomorrow. Game on.
September 8th, 2004 03:18pm
gilbertosilver
Applause>
Thankyou Sporting Life. Thankyou for making the barren landscape of the Arsenal Newsnow section that much brighter with a headline of such pure, unparalleled genius that I am tempted to engrave it into my forehead.
I wish I was lying when I say that that is the most interesting piece of Arsenal news there has been since my last update. However, I’m not.
To be fair, as football stories go, it’s fairly colourful. TV Chef/football supremo Delia Smith labels Henry inconsiderate for refusing to sign autographs for small East Anglian ruffians – Henry, outraged, hits back, with the somewhat weak line “This woman wasn’t even there“. Bless.
Well, it now seems that Thierry Henry won’t be signing for Norwich. He has only himself to blame.
Tonight England play Poland. If we don’t win, all the papers will say Sven should go, and then he won’t.
Will he, Pingu.
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