The Week At Arsenal
Add comment February 26th, 2010
It’s been a slow few days. Unusually we haven’t had a midweek game, with the reconfiguring of the Champions League meaning that the knockout rounds are spun out over a month rather than the usual fortnight. Instead, Arsenal fans have sat back and watched a veritable circus of footballing nonsense.
Monday
Monday saw a few sites competing for the cherished ‘most absurd headline of the week’ award. I think Sport.co.uk claimed the crown in the end by stating in a matter-of-fact way that we had beaten Barcelona to a signing. The signing they referred to of course, was not that of a global superstar a la Ribery, but teenage striker Benik Afobe – who, I ought to point out, has joined Arsenal from… Arsenal. I hope Sport are proud of the integrity of their journalism there.
Meanwhile, Arsene Wenger left reporters astounded at his phenomenal internal calendar, stating:
“The World Cup is not today. It is in June.”
The man is omniscient.
Tuesday
On Tuesday Manchester United beat West Ham 3-0 at Old Trafford. In doing so, they moved five points clear of us, though we have a game in hand – United will not play in the Premier League this weekend as thy face Aston Villa in the the Carling Cup. As an aside, it strikes me that many of the players we field in that competition are probably not legally entitled to drink Carling.
Wayne Rooney is scoring a lot of goals for United, with two more against the Hammers taking him to 27 for the season. When he moved there in August 2004, it was a relatively unchallenged deal. Newcastle made a bid which forced United in to action, and that was that. Just a month before he moved, Arsene said:
“I dream at night of bringing him to Arsenal, but that’s all it is, a fantasy. We cannot compete with the money he would cost so I just have to accept he is out of our reach.
I think Rooney will be a United player next season. They know they have to act because Chelsea will do something big and they cannot afford to be left behind. I cannot remember seeing anything like it before. I knew he was very good but I didn’t think it was possible someone so young could dominate so much. You have to say he is amazing.”
Six years on, you have to say that from United’s perspective it’s £25.6m very well spent. With Bergkamp’s career on the wane, the possibility of a Rooney/Henry partnership was tantalising, but as Arsene said, never realistic.
Wednesday
Wednesday was all about The Special One: Emmanuel Eboue. The Ivorian went to visit Hargrave Park Primary School in Archway. On his return to the training ground, Arsene was said to be delighted with the dramatic improvement in Eboue’s colouring in.
Thursday
Thursday was injury news day. Arsene was on top form, dashing hopes all over the place. He kicked off by stating that reports that Robin van Persie could be back in early April were premature, before saying that of Eduardo, Gallas, Diaby and Arshavin only the Croatian is in contention for the weekend. Kieran Gibbs, meanwhile, has only a “little chance” of being fit before the end of the season – but Arsene isn’t overly worried as he expects Gael Clichy’s form to pick up:
“He was out for a long time and like every player at the start he was not completely back 100 per cent but I felt in the last two games he was very convincing.”
Significantly more convincing than these hilarious claims from Clichy’s predecessor. I didn’t mention them at the time, but these are some of the worst lies ever recorded.
Friday
Today is the day Portsmouth became the first Premier League side to enter administration. Seizing on the opportunity to make themselves look brilliant by comparison, Arsenal immediately released their half-year financial results. I’m not even sure a club is obliged to make those results public – it seems odd, like celebrating a “six month anniversary” with your girlfriend. There’s a video interview with Ivan Gazidis, which I haven’t watched yet, but I presume consists largely of him going:
“haha Peter Storrie + Pompey lookz like u iz well fucked but we got dolla hahah jokzlol”
whilst Peter Hill-Wood and Ken Friar do a triumphant version of the Soulja Boy dance in the background.
I do feel deeply for Portsmouth fans. Arsenal supporters complain frequently about the lack of silverware, but seeing a club disappear down the financial drain puts a lot of things in perspective. We are continuing to compete at the highest level of club football – the Champions League – without endangering an institution we all love deeply. At this precarious time for the world’s economy, it is undoubtedly the most sensible policy.
Stoke preview tomorrow.
