Eduardo has merely returned to grim old reality
1 comment February 20th, 2009
Yesterday brought the news that Eduardo da Silva will be out for two weeks after tweaking his hamstring during his comeback match against Cardiff. Arsene Wenger said:
“Eduardo is out for two weeks. He picked up a hamstring injury two minutes before I took him off. What a nightmare. Nobody knows how it happened but I knew straight away after the game it would be a two-week job. It is nothing like he had before but I do know that little set-backs like this are part of being nine months out. After that long out, nobody plays six months on the trot. It is impossible. But at the same time it is a blow because, of course, he can score goals. He had shown that on Monday night.”
Arsene calls it a “nightmare”, but I wouldn’t be surprised if tomorrow’s ArsenalTV footage reveals that being said with a smile, or even a gallic chuckle. Eduardo’s return was closer to a dream – a goal within twenty minutes, and another from the spot before departing to a standing ovation and high-fives from elated team-mates. It was a fairy tale.
But fairy tales, as Robbie Keane found out to his cost after joining his boyhood club, just don’t happen. There’s no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow; a house made out of gingerbead would never withstand the elements; three bears will maim and eat you whether or not you happen to have sampled their porridge – and footballers, as Arsene points out, don’t just walk immediately back into form and fitness after suffering a leg with more breaks in it than ITV’s FA Cup coverage.
No matter though, as Arsene will be wheeling out our next auditionee for the role of Messiah: Andrey Arshavin. I don’t expect the Russian to start – Arsene is more likely to drop a suggestive one-liner to Geoff Shreeves in his post-match interview than he is to drop Eboue. That said, he may feel inclined to give Carlos Vela his first league start after the Mexican’s electric display on Monday.
Whilst Arshavin might not yet be entirely ready, his missus, Yulia, is making every preparation possible. The latest reports suggest she is prepared to fly in a stylist from St. Petersburg to manage Andrey’s moppish hairdo. The Russian press reports:
“Yulia superstitiously distrusts hairdressers in London and insisted that her husband paid for his personal stylist’s trips to London for his hair cuts.”
The suspicion of English hairdressers is a fundamental part of Russian culture, and one of their many anti-anglo superstitions. They also consider Yorkshire pudding to be deeply unlucky, whilst many believe Stephen Fry to be The Anti-Christ. One only hopes that Yulia has similar disregard for the skills of Catalan hairdressers.
Enough of this joyful nonsense. Sunderland preview tomorrow, complete with predictions so dreadful they will make Mark Lawrenson look like Nostradamus (which, frankly, is far less plausible now he’s lost the ‘tache).
